t certainly is NOT funny anymore!!! I remember the first time I unintentionally reversed the letters on a word and blurted "Private ADENGA" (pronounced as 'adenjah') instead of Private AGENDA!  I was engrossed in what I was saying and I think I was talking about my lovelife at that time that's why I didn't notice my own blunder... The whole ADENGA thing has become a private joke with my college friends but truth be told, until now I am bothered by it since I didn't realise I actually said it. 


I have been noticing a more disturbing form of "unintentional reversals" while I'm working... When I write a series of numbers quoted by callers, I often get 2 digits reversed. So, let's say I was quoted 2345654, I know I wrote it the same way it was read to me but when I look at what I actually wrote, it would come out as 2345645 or 2354654. 


The word dyslexia keeps flashing in my mind everytime it happens but I know I'm not suffering from it... or am I? And after getting caught in the same mistake today, I finally decided to do some research and I found another term, dysgraphia.  It's a term used for "writing difficulty".  And here's a startling discovery I made today....


Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) - Students with an attention deficit disorder (especially with hyperactivity) often experience rather significant difficulty with writing in general and handwriting in particular. This is because ADHD students also have difficulty organizing and sequencing detailed information. In addition, ADHD students are often processing information at a very rapid rate and simply don't have the fine-motor coordination needed to "keep up" with their thoughts.


I'm no longer a kid but this is so damn true! Wah!!!!

 Two-time Loser.  Yup, that's me!!  My blog was featured AGAIN and I missed it AGAIN... Wahhhhhhhh!!!!!


To everyone who dropped by, hope you enjoyed the stay.. Feel free to visit again...

e choose our responses.


I don't know who took credit for verbalising that, but this fact has been the single point why I have been eager this whole week to consciously guard my temper.  I can very well blame our company for thinking of setting up a "training university" BUT if I didn't listen to anything that's been said and had I not actually enjoyed the 2 trainings I attended (one of them could have been a pre-requisite to Anger Management or something similar to it!), I wouldn't be here right now feeling all mixed-up inside and battling again with myself.  


Arghhh... For the past days now, I feel like Jekyll and Hyde are having a major fight over who gets the spotlight in public for good! Most of the time, it's Jekyll facing everyone and everything has been going smoothly until I let Hyde out because of one caller who got on my nerves. All the good things I picked up in the training sessions went down the drain and though I know very well that I LET HIM GET TO ME, it didn't matter.  Everything went blank then I let out my usual scream of frustration.  When I heard JJ calling my name to remind me I'm wasting my energy again because I'm getting upset, I can tell how much Hyde wanted to smack him in the head for reprimanding me even in the subtlest way! 

 admit I used to think I didn't need anyone else to tell me how I can figure out my problems.  I was so used to solving most of them on my own and I thought I can solve any issues I had with myself without listening to a guru or doing an hour-long monologue to a shrink.


I haven't made any visits to a psychiatrist and I don't think I will ever need to but I am having my very own therapy session everyday.  Let's just say that I am on the road to digesting the good bits written on one particular book.  Can't believe I am actually reading a self-improvement book and liking it!  And I am doing my best not to mind the supressed giggles I keep hearing in the back of my mind.

 started the week with an abysmal uncertainty in my heart and it ended with me getting a much-deserved shaking and receiving a knock-out punch in the gut.  I now find myself re-awakened with that familiar sense of optimism, idealism, self-confidence and just a tiny bit of arrogance and stubborness to fuel my competitive nature.

t is unfortunate that for me and my sibs, it is a fact. What's this day for when you don't have your own mother around and she's somewhere else? She probably had been greeted a number of times today and had probably felt the pang that not even one of her broods is there to spend the day with her and our dad.  Knowing her, she probably had a ready spiel to explain why they're the only ones who didn't bring their kids with them.


Pointing fingers won't do anything about it.  Just really sucks that I went to SM today with my sis and had seen a number of Moms being treated to lunch by their kids.  Even saw one of our friends from our place with his mother and his sis and their mom's beaming with a smile while she was carrying a huge bouquet of flowers. Nice said she also had a box of chocolates under her arms.  I was trying my damn best to disguise the bitterness I felt inside. Mama should've been one of those mothers parading there.  We should have been there with our own queen!  And yes, I still feel wretched inside.


I would have gone with them to Pampanga if only I didn't need this day to rest.  I would have endured a whole day of being in the midst of some holier-than-thou folks and I would have willed myself to be temporarily deaf and blind to annoying kids. I can be a good girl, if only for one day and do those things for her but she's the one who said I should rest today.  Can't stop myself though from thinking that the choice was still mine and I chose not to go.




There. That should calm the storm inside me.  And to all mothers out there, I wish you a happy day.

aving a dial-up connection is such a challenge! Okay, let me say it now but I will refrain from complaining about it anymore. Period.


When I think about it, using a very slow internet connection has its own, uhm, let's just say "good points."  I realise now that I tend to become more patient with waiting for the websites I want to access and that, in itself,  is something I'm thankful for.  But, of course, I'm still waiting for that moment when I can finally access the world wide web using a faster internet connection right in our humble abode and inside my own bedroom. 


Ahh! Just thinking about it and imagining it happening is sooo orgasmic... hehehe... Well, for someone like myself who does not have easy access to the latest technology unlike those residing in the metro, I am extremely ecstatic to know that it will eventually come our way.  Don't care if broadband has been available for years now and that it's only coming our way in the next months or so.  As long as it will come and become a reality, I can wait for it. But, really, they should better come when I still have the capacity to afford it!! 


They say good things happen to those who wait, right? Right? The fruit of patience should taste sweet. Otherwise, I'll go on a rampage!

05 05 05


was meaning to post something -- anything! -- just to have an entry on the 5th of the 5th month of the 5th year of the 21st century. but i slept early that day and had no time to post anything while at work. dang!

aughed out loud at myself when I caught my own heart skip a beat.  I visited his Friendster profile and a new picture was displayed there. So, whatever happened to the pedestal I smashed a few weeks ago, you ask? Well, it's still smashed to bits and he really can no longer occupy it.  Who said smashing his pedestal has everything to do with what I still feel for him, anyway? And who cares if our worlds are mutually exclusive right now? I don't!  Nothing could change the fact that he will always be THE ONE.  And I'm through with figuring out the whys. I'll just accept it the same way I know that the sun will always rise and set everyday.

icked off the first working day in a rather good mood although I had a hard time sleeping last night.  I've been experiencing it quite regularly within the past months and I now call it my semi-insomnia episodes -- you know, the type of sleep wherein you do doze off but you easily wake up, too and you wake up a number of times within the night then you have such a hard time catching your sleep again... It's hell!


Anyway, I haven't heard JJ complain today that I'm moody again and it's better he hasn't nagged me (yet!) about the reason I was so irritable last week.  I feel relieved, too that our coaching session last Friday was postponed. Otherwise, I would've been such a mess in front of him! I hate it when I'm feeling too vulnerable and he's there asking me to be patient blah blah blah.  Arghhh! It sucks to be so low on EQ!!


May 2005. I think I'll ditch some detailed planning for this month. Or else I just might change my planning tactic.  I've been feeling shitty about some things I haven't mastered yet at work and my usual happy-go-lucky self has been enjoying the backseat. I certainly do not approve of it one bit because a lot of people at work have already seen me (and heard me) in my worst mood and I fear I might do or say something to them that I'd eventually regret. Well, I just don't want that to happen.